So. Trying to ease back into work--there are people in my life who don't think that what I do is terribly interesting or worthwhile, and even I admit that it's only recently that it's become a gainful employment once again. So I don't tend to recognize that it's possible to overwork myself, my dreams aside. But then you look back and realize that I put out an e-book and two Fifteen Minutes (HEY DID YOU HEAR ABOUT NEW MOON IN FIFTEEN MINUTES? BECAUSE THAT'S STILL THERE) in the space of about six weeks, and that's a lot of mental effort. I mean, narrative fiction is one thing--but humor can actually be kind of nerve-wracking, because (as I'm so fond of saying), it's either funny or it's not, and if you're any good at it, you know when it's not, and you just have to sit there sweating blood until you come up with something that is. Which is why I love a nice rambly entry or recap that just happens on a whim, because it's not me trying, and it doesn't involve breaking out into metaphorical hives. So my point, and I did have one, is that I'm having to recognize that maybe I am just a little bit burnt out right now. But the more time you take off from something, the harder it is to get back into it--think of how much you dread going back to work after several days off--so I spent yesterday setting up footnotes on New Moon, should something else in the house blow up and I find myself ever needing to do a third e-book. Just putting in the numbers and reminders to myself ("Talk about that news article for this one, here's the link"), which I also did last November for the Twilight 15M, and let me tell you, a year later, that really came in handy. So I did that to ease myself back into footnoting, so on and so forth.

I think one of the things I'm going to try to do is be a bit kinder to myself, in terms of work. What I really need to do, I think, is stop trying to create deadlines and expectations for myself--which sounds odd, but the thing is, the ones I create are stressful, self-defeating, and counterproductive. I think you do need discipline, but I need to live more in the present with it--put in the daily hours and work steadily and do my best, but not worry as to whether that "best" is good enough, and if I'm "on track" and set all these grand unattainable plans, because that does not produce results for me. In fact, it makes me kind of crazy, and the best things I've done in my life were, in fact, the things I did on a whim and with no expectations. That may not work for you, but it seems to work for me. So I'm going to try to live more with my best efforts in the present and stop trying to stress myself out about the future.

(I have a Zen Garden app on my phone that starts up with little sayings, and one of them was, "To a mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders." I think it's a little like that.)

Meanwhile, in other news, we're supposed to get snow tomorrow (YAY), and the dogs are deeply depressed because it's too cold for them to go out and play (I'll let them out after lunch, once it's warmed up a bit). Also, I think my birthday present to myself will be a whole mess of eyeshadow samples from Aromaleigh, since they're only $1 each anyway, last a good long time, and you can get as many as you want. (Aromaleigh: TLE approved.)

A few quick links:

'The 40 Year Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It' is Sadly Real and Has a Trailer. And sharp-eyed folks on Twitter noticed that a certain sparklepire shows up at 1:37. (BEHOLD.) Way to steal from the easiest target ever and still fail at humor, guys.

New Moon retold with lolcats.

Vampirism Does Not Make Stalking Attractive. I think I might actually buy this shirt to sleep in. You know, as a precautionary measure.

Full info at Neil Gaiman's Twitter: "Scary and sad: Paralyzed & abandoned by insurance -The Full Story."

Remember the Twilight hate questionnaire a lot of you guys filled out? Well, octoberland's article is up now!

From oasis_beatles: megmatthews20 needs eye surgery related to Marfan Syndrome, can you help? hope_in_sight is running a general/fandom auction to raise the $1500. As far as vouching for the validity of it, I recognize Meg's username as a longtime reader/commenter here (I was actually kind of shocked when I saw who it was for, the name was so familiar to me). I haven't seen her comment in a long while, for reasons that should be obvious.

Also, I know there were a couple of similar reader requests in my LJ messages, but I swear to you, my inbox has eaten them. I rarely if ever delete messages there, and there's at least two I can't find now. I have to add, though, that I'm very wary of posting requests for causes that can't be easily verified, so keep that in mind.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

In case you missed it yesterday: New Moon in Fifteen Minutes. I spent something like ten days in the comedy mines on that thing--not sure why it was so much harder than even I thought it would be, but it was, although I feel like it turned out decently well--so trust me, I will not be letting you forget it any time soon. And yes, I do read every single comment that comes in, via my email, so if you go over and say something, no, I won't miss it.

So, as promised: I did not do a damn thing today. I didn't even turn on the computer until 6 pm. I did read email comments and Twitter on my phone, wrote in my diary, sat outside in the very pleasant chill for a while, played with the dogs--honestly, I do not know how I actually spent the hours from eight to three. I was kind of bored the whole time, but in a very nice way.

I also had a very strange dream--( In which I meet the man of my dreams, literally )


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New Moon in Fifteen Minutes.

Yeah, I probably struck a couple of True Believer nerves in there. Also, I let it run long on purpose. Haters to the left. It was HARD and I am not going to do JACK SHIT for the next couple of days. HUZZAH.


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Stiiiiiilll worrrrrking on New Moooooon. To that end, does anyone have a still/screencap of that really ridiculous, blatant fanservice moment when Jacob takes off his shirt to, like, dab at Bella's head? I mean the exact moment when he takes it off, you know the shot. It's an illustrated Fifteen Minutes, and the more on-the-nose the picture is, the better the punchline will work, and I only have shots from later in the scene. I just really don't want to Google for it, you know? The internets scare me.

(I'm wrestling with the last few problem scenes and trying to go back and polish the finished ones while I rack my brain for something interesting. It's running long--well, by "long" I mean "the standard 5000 words that most of the older ones are," but Twilight has kind of taken the place of the Harry Potter fandom in terms of OMG YOU LEFT OUT MY FAVORITE PARRRRRRT complaints. Within the stuff I felt compelled to include, I'm trying to tighten as much as possible. Also, the coding on this one has been a bitch because I tried to get fancy with a text effect. Fnarr.)


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I had an insanely good time with coreopsis and purplicious1 . Sang a little; drank a lot.

Here's a few points of interest:

this, this and this

Just the same, I'm so grateful to have people who get me and still like me. For this I am truly blessed.

Also, I'd like to give a big shout out to J. for being our designated driver. I think at one point we all nodded off in the car, so KUDOS!! And thank you. :)

Anyway, if I don't get out of bed tomorrow, just know that it was well deserved. :)

The new Made of Fail podcast is up, and it's something like my fifth appearance on the show--and this time we also have Rinna from Poufwa, the first podcast I ever did! Also, my sexy, sexy phlegm ("Yeah... I'm reporting live from my death bed..."), brought in loud and clear courtesy of my new headset. Topic: half New Moon and half Crazy Fans, with a substantial segment on the Dollhouse cancellation up front (aw, hell, I just heard myself cough in the background).

("I am in bed with another woman right now...")

And now, I'm going back to bed.


ETA: OH BY THE WAY we totally discuss the Twilight porno that Dayna watched for us.

ETA: Who has the "fever of a hundred and werewolf" thermometer icon, and who made it? Because I totally need to start using that.



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I feel like there's something I'm supposed to be doing but I don't know what it is. Do you ever get that feeling? Don't you hate it with the passion of a really passionate thing? I know I do.

Anyway, a brief and not at all comprehensive list of things I'm thankful for:

--my knees decided to go easy on me today and I haven't actually been in any pain. A few twinges of discomfort when I moved certain ways, but I can live with that. The swelling even went down a bit. I think it's because I had decided that I was really, actually going to go to the doctor if it didn't get better, so it got better. heh. Let's see how tomorrow turns out though.

--my job. I know I bitch about it a lot but I'm desperately glad to have a job at all right now. Remind me of this tomorrow when I hate it so much I could kill.

--my family. They're all right, I guess. I'll probably keep them. :)

--my friendslist! All of you--yes, even you who I seldom actually talk to but read your posts like a creepy stalker because I'm like a badly socialized puppy. ♥

--fandom. I'm so very appreciative of the handful of you I share a (main) fandom with right now because it is such a little ray of sunshine in my life. I'm also thankful for my friends who put up with my fandom obsession and don't kick me to the curb for it. This time of year, especially, is stressful and difficult to deal with and being able to decompress by babbling about how hot Bob Bryar is or the awesomeness of Mikeyway or how PStump is actually a robot clone of himself made by the mad scientist PStump or Geeway's FACE or how Brendon and Spencer are MFEO or WHATEVER is incredibly valuable to my sanity.

--music. There is not a day goes by that I don't listen to music. I can live without TV but never music.

--yesterday is over. Yesterday was a v. v. bad day for me--especially last night. My knees were bad and I got my period with some of the worst cramps I've had in a long time, and just about everything made me want to cry. I was absolutely miserable-- more than my usual level of misery. But today, the cramps have been manageable and the knees are all right and my emotional balance has been restored and it's all very bearable right now.

Wow, way to end on a downer, C. But it's all good! Promise!

*unless you're not into that, in which case I'd like to give you a friendly wave from across the room. :)

I think we have, like, three different kinds of pie. That is pretty much all you need to know.

Meanwhile, what are you thankful for? Even if you are not American or eating many awesome foods today, although if not, I do pity you a teensy bit. Of course, you also don't have to deal with the accompanying Family Holiday Drama most of the rest of us do, so... maybe we're even.

I, for one, am thankful for the Made of Fail crew, who sent me these:




(The gold and silver shimmer M&M phrases are a reference to Episode 10, which I was on--the one people seem to recommend most to newcomers. The others just have "15" printed on them, because the M is already on there, and...)

(Oh my God, how is it already Thursday and I have not finished the thing yet wtf.)


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Ran a low fever today, because apparently we are still on this. I'm spinning my wheels on New Moon between cough syrup-induced comas and not getting anything done. Outstanding. And tomorrow being Happy Eating Day, I doubt I'll get much else done then, either. God, I want my life back.

Hm. Well, I think what we need is some cute. If you are in the Homewood/Birmingham (AL) area, there is a three-month-old puppy at our vet's who is in need of a home. They have dubbed him "Snoopy," but obviously he could be renamed:





Also, here is Sam home fresh from his bath this morning:




Now to decide if I want to pass out again or not.



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So it turns out that we're not out of the Compocalyptic woods yet, kids. (Don't panic! It's not that bad.) I've finally set Lizzie up at my desk--which I haven't worked at for nearly four months now, by the way--and it turns out that... she doesn't fit. See, it's a huge desk with an attached shelf overtop, and it's divided down the middle by a... well, a divider. And each half is only just big enough to fit the laptop--not really anything that attaches. You know, like the wireless unit for a keyboard and mouse, or headphones, or the iPhone jack, or ANYTHING AT ALL, really. The divider doesn't run all the way from the back to the front of the desk--if I pull the laptop out, I can fit attachments in... but that's all the way to the edge of the desk, so there's no room for a separate keyboard. I'm so disgusted, I can't even tell you.

(Also, I looked at the wireless mouse, and it is completely alien to me. Great.)

So what I'm facing here is the prospect of buying a second desk. I love this desk. I don't want it to go anywhere. Also, there isn't any real possibility of it going anywhere, because I'm not even sure how we heaved it upstairs in the first place. So I'm thinking it might be possible to find a light, cheap desk--a glorified table, really, if I can get one at the right sit-down height--and put it against the foot of my bed. I am really running out of room in my room, but this is the simplest solution I can think of.

So until then, I'm stuck with the flaky touchpad mouse and the keyboard I'm not quite used to, but, like I said: it's kind of on the level of complaining that my diamond shoes are too tight.

Been resting mostly--slept in this morning, since the dogs are off getting their baths to be all shiny-fresh for Happy Eating Day. Still trying to work on New Moon in Fifteen Minutes--I am this close to busting out the 5x8 notecards all hardcore "I are srs writer"-style, just because I get completely overwhelmed by my sea of notes. FYI: I have never had to use notecards for a Fifteen Minutes before. Don't ever say I don't love you.

Meanwhile, this breaks my heart: Chris Weitz finally admits that New Line screwed The Golden Compass over. 

Weitz claims that New Line didn't trust him to handle the content of the book, that the film was taken from him in editing. Heavy-handed hacking resulted in losing nearly 30 minutes of footage from the film, and neatly exercised the edgy thrust of Phillip Pullman's book. "It was an utter violation of my status as a director and the worst thing that has happened to me professionally ... I was treated badly, it was almost like they never read the books. They seemed frightened of offending the right." Out of loyalty to the cast and crew, Weitz said he "bit through my tongue" when Compass was released.

Also: 7 Threatened Fanboy Responses to New Moon. Which really piss me off, by the way. There's a line between "The Twilight movies are ridiculous and I disagree with their view of the world" and "OMG SOMETHING LIKED BY GIRRRRRRRRRRRRLS." I was glad it didn't outgross The Dark Knight because the latter is one of my favorite movies, not because such an event would shrivel my e-penis, BOYS.

(Also-also: apparently you can now talk to your kids about Edward Cullen and drugs at the same time.)


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Saw New Moon again today, because Mom wanted to see it--and, once again, the movie broke down at a key scene. This time they actually gave us free passes afterwards (which I intend to use on Sherlock Holmes next month, kthnx), but the lesson I think we should all take away from this is: don't go see a Twilight movie with my mother. Or, at the very least, warn a theater manager beforehand. She liked it, although she says she got bored during the Jacob third of the movie. I come by it honestly, people.

Still working on New Moon in Fifteen Minutes (although apparently not fast enough, judging by a number of inquiries sent in). Mostly it's my head cold that's holding me up--we're progressing to an itchy dry cough and sinus-exacerbated migraines now. I took another nine (Jesus, nine?) pages of notes at this viewing, mostly because I wanted to nail the stuff that pisses me off, instead of just going BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE WHAT IS THE POINT WHATEVER I DON'T CARE. (Although that would definitely shorten the word count, and you know how much I enjoy accomplishing that.) The problem, though, is that this isn't 2012, where "No one cares about these characters" is a legitimate, objective statement. Seriously, no one cares. BLOW STUFF UP. Whereas I find Jacob to be a character in need of a far better story, and the love triangle to be, as previously stated, a badly-conceived, pointless, bullshit waste of time, but that's not universally agreed upon. Particularly in the eyes of Team Jacob. Who I am pretty sure will eat my face. I mean, the pro-sparkilarity slant will probably piss them off anyway; let's not borrow trouble.

Oh, meanwhile: I mentioned talking to a reporter from the (I will now reveal) Hartford Courant. (Article here.) Turns out my part (and that of a Hartford professor as well) got edited out for space considerations, which is okay. I mean, I was expecting to be in all of two sentences anyway. However, I am the one who gave the writer a crash course in the hilarrible world of the "Twilight" "Saga," and you can see my influence in the first few paragraphs. Let me just say, if I say nothing else, that it's not so much that the books themselves are dangerous or horrible or bad influences or [insert feminist/sociological complaint here]; it's that we need to talk about those issues in hopes of neutralizing them. A lot of girls and women read these books, enjoy them, and walk away unscathed, because they're just books. Unfortunately, we've also seen a number who don't. I'm not saying that there's any one truth here, in terms of whether these books do or do not harm whoever in whichever way. I'm just saying, clearly they've eaten society's brain at this point, and it's the sheer number of people who read them that give them their power. It's the zeitgeist now, so we need to be having these discussions, and it's the discussions themselves--there are no "answers"--that will keep us on stable ground. So, I'll say it again: Parents, talk to your kids about Edward Cullen. And drugs, if you get around to that.

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1920 words. Sorry it's so short, but it's been a month since I last posted and I'm feeling very guilty. Remind me never to post a WIP again. It sucks for both writer and reader.

[previous part here and first part is here]

( much more Panic! intensive than previous sections )

Okay, problem: I am trying to move music from my computer to the iPhone (and vice versa, now that I think about it), and I'm not finding a way to do so without just doing a blanket sync. The problem with this is that I have music on the phone that I don't want to get wiped and would, in fact, like to transfer to the computer, but I also have music on the computer that I'd like to move to the phone. (Moving recently purchased music was not a problem. We are talking about music that iTunes does not recognize as purchased because it wasn't purchased from them.)

The thing is, I have moved music both ways before on the other computer, so I'm confused because I'm not seeing similar options on my setup. The help section did mention something about only being able to do whatever on one computer--if that's the problem, is there a way to, I don't know, "revoke" the doingness from the other computer and tell iTunes that Lizzie is the one computer my phone needs to sync with?

(OMG WHY IS THIS SO HARD)


ETA: YAY! EphPod/CopyTrans turned out to be a snap.


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So, I survived the party last night--obviously. It was pretty much exactly as socially uncomfortable as I figured, but it wasn't completely horrible. The Latin Jack Ryan greeted me with a handshake/half-hug thing and he always smells so good. When I commented on that, the mister said, "Yeah, he always does." The food was excellent and the bar was open, so that also put points in the win column. It was just the constant rounds of being introduced/introducing myself to people and never once having an actual conversation that got on my last nerve. I wasn't there as a person who might have a job and opinions and interests of my own, just as an extension of the mister. If I gave a fuck about these people, that would sting a bit. Thank goodness, I don't and will never have to see most of them ever again. whee.


Reason #8796877564 I love Matt Nathanson: mammal domination is kinda my thing

hee. What a dork.

Phew! New Moon Fails to Break Opening Weekend Record. So The Dark Knight is safe. However:

Instead, after clinching the Best Midnight Opening record and Best Opening Day record, New Moon will have to settle for third on the Best Opening Weekend list after walking away with a pretty astonishing $140 million when it was all said and done.

If that number holds up (and it should), the film will replace Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End for third place on the list of all-time best opening weekends (domestic), and will settle in behind only Spider-Man 3 (second) and The Dark Knight (first). Still, with $130 million, New Moon more than doubled Twilight's opening weekend ($69 million) -- in addition to taking in the largest domestic weekend gross of the year.

My final estimate of $140M did turn out to be correct, though. I feel irrationally smug about this, purely from a movie buff point of view.


Meanwhile, the new ep of Made of Fail is about to start recording, and it will actually not be an entire review episode of the movie. Not... entirely.


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'New Moon' Smashes 'Dark Knight's' Opening Day Record!

Which means it's already made a shade just under one hundred million ($100M), which was my original entire-weekend prediction. (ETA: Or wait, the midnight screenings are included? $72M is a bit better. Although that's still more in 24 hours than Twilight made its entire first weekend.) I'm officially revising my estimates up to $170M now. (Well, in that case, let's take it down to $140M.)

You know, I'm not surprised, exactly. It was tracking above TDK all week, and it's already the highest-grossing advance ticket seller and midnight opening. And it may be that the mainstream won't turn out the rest of the weekend. But the official @Twilight account on Twitter has been RTing messages from fans saying that, as of mid-afternoon yesterday, they had already seen the movie four and five times. Four and five times. I understand, sociologically, psychologically, emotionally, financially, why it's happening. I'm not surprised, precisely. But I'm kind of astounded.


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734 words, MCR Gen (ish. implied Gerard/Frank if one is so inclined)

ETA title: In a Barbie World

( in any other fandom this would be crack, here...well, I'll let you be the judge )